I don’t know if it’s a function of generational norms or cultural changes. Maybe it’s something else entirely. But I’m going to say it: if I don’t know you, and you reached a personal goal, your pet died, you graduated, got a new job, are X number of days sober, cancer-free, lost a family member, or are having a hard time in life: I don’t need to know. In fact, I don’t want to know. I don’t know you. And it’s personal.
What is the difference between personal and private, anyway? A lot of people seem to be obsessed with gargantuan corporations getting hold of their “private” information, yet spread their “personal” details to as many strangers as possible. I don’t get it.
Please understand that I really am happy or sad for you accordingly, and am probably screwing myself every time I “heart” your post because I am not without empathy and the algorithm is taking furious notes to feed me more of what I don’t want.
It’s not because I am selfish and cruel, unfeeling or cold; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. I have enough people and enough life to keep me fully engaged celebrating the good and grieving the losses of people I actually know. I don’t need or want to live vicariously, and frankly, when your pet dies, it’s awful. I know the pain, and I feel for you. But I don’t know you. Five seconds ago, I didn’t know you or that you had a beloved pet, much less that said pet was at the end of life or met a tragically untimely death.
I don’t need to look for more emotional strife. I can’t help you, I’m sorry. I don’t want to know because it takes too much away from the people I DO know and want to be there for. So I am not going to heart another post for this kind of thing.
Also, you might want to give some thought to what truly gives you comfort, along with the meaning of community. Here is a place to start:
Monday Quote
“Let’s talk about the new AI — Artificial Intimacy. We have 1,000 friends on social, but we don’t have a single person who can feed our cat for us.”
Meanwhile: hey algorithm? Fuck right off. And shame on greedia media for creating a way to exponentially exploit people’s emotions. Count me out.
To those of you who already know my name (and will come to know it through engaging with the network of community here), please feel free to share your struggles and triumphs if it is helpful. I am here for you. We are here for you.
Thank you for reading at the Verbihund Café.
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Thanks Kate! Since the election I've been thinking quite a bit about how the Substack notes fed to me set me up for emotional devastation afterward. Not only are social media entrapping, their algorithms embody a form of positive feedback (error magnifying) that leads us away from reality.
I think I will do a post on the topic.
I feel more ok and more clear with the way things really are.